My soapbox....

I must vent.... You don't have to read this if you don't want to, but I would love to hear what you think.

Yesterday, while working on some things I turned on Oprah for background noise. The show was about two 14 year old children who had decided that it was time for them to have sex. The kids were dating and it was only natural that they should now be intimate.

The mother of the boy had had some good talks with her son. They have an open relationship, which I think is good, he told his mother that he was ready for sex. She said, I don't want you to do that, and then promptly goes to the store and buys him a box of condoms and leaves it in his drawer.

Excuse me?

What does this say to a 14 year old boy?

I would like to know what you think.

Here are my thoughts. First of all, many of you know that I am LDS, which is commonly referred to as Mormon. I believe that sex is sacred. Its should be used only within the bonds of marriage. The reason I believe this has to do with the sacred powers that God has. This will be hard to explain quickly but, I will try.

I believe that we lived with God before this life, as one heavenly family. That our purpose on earth is to be tested, to show whether we will pick God's plan and the atonement that was made for us by our Savior, or if we will choose the worlds ways. A vital part of this plan is our agency. We are given agency so that we might choose what we want to do. God will not interfere with this agency. It is His law, and He will not stop our free agency to make our own choices. This is why so many of us make mistakes. This is also why an atonement was made so that we can repent and return to our Father in Heaven.

Now I need to make something clear, I believe that God is governed by , for lack of a better word laws. That if he says something, it must be fulfilled. He is perfect, he cannot go back on his word, he does not change and is the same, yesterday today and forever. These laws and perfect understanding that he has, makes him the supreme creator, and he knows all.

I believe that there are certain sins are very severe, and I want to explain why I believe sex outside of the bonds of marriage is one of them. Hopefully I can do this, let me ask you some questions-

Do you believe that Murder is wrong?
Do you believe that people have no right to take another persons life?

I do. I believe that murder is one of the most severe sins because it takes all the agency from the one killed. It is final, there is no changing it. In that same sense, sex is that power to procreate with God another human being. It is ultimate power over the creation of life for another being. If looked at in a mirror, it is the opposite of death. Birth and Death go hand and hand. God's timing is important, but like I said before, he will not interfere with our agency. He will allow us to make our choices. But to every choice there are natural consequences.

In this life, parents are concerned with pregnancy and STD's, they think nothing of the soul binding experience the act of sex produces. Of the emotional consequences of the decision to share our most God given gift to act as a God ourselves in creating a new life. And whether or not you are using birth control, the powers of creation are being played with and the soul binding ability of sex, is not to be forgotten.

I hope that explains why I believe sex is so sacred.

So, let me get back to my original question. Do you think that giving your son condoms, after you've had a talk about his desire to have sex, is giving permission to have sex?

I do.

I think actions speak much louder than words. By purchasing the condoms, you are saying "here is your ticket, now go".

Let me use two examples to show what this can be likened to. First, lets say your family is very health conscious. You do not believe that people should consume sugar. It is hard on your body to regulate it, it gives you cavities, if consumed to often it can lead to disease but of course sugar is very enjoyable. It is delicious, and lets face it, most people really love candy. Let's say your 5-8 year old comes to you and says, "Mom, I've been thinking about it and I really want a snickers bar everyday for the rest of my life." You have explained to them, that you don't want them to eat sugar. Again you tell them this, you tell them some of the consequences, you explain that sugar is good, but that even though it tastes good, you don't want him to eat it.

Then you go to the store and buy him a box of snickers. And leave it for him in his room. What does this say to the little kid? What do you think they will do? Eat it of course. You bought it, you must have changed your mind and agree about eating a snickers bar daily. There will be more to come to, if you eat these all up, because, mom knows you wanted these and got them for you.

I realize that a candy bar a day, is probably not going to kill you. It is not as serious, but do I make my point clear?

Okay, so now for one more example, a little more dark than a Snickers bar. Let's say your teenager comes home from school very upset. It has been happening a lot. Their friends have turned on your child. You can see there is some bullying or something like that going on. Luckily your child talks to you, you communicate very often. They explain that the are very angry with their friends. They are mad and hurt(the emotional opposite of love). They really want to do something about it. They bought some bullets. They want a gun. You explain to them, that you do not believe in guns. You think that they need to learn to control their feelings and use them properly. You do not believe that they should hurt their friends.

Then next day you go out and buy a gun, and leave them on your child's bed. What does this say to the child? I lets them know that you agree with their thinking. You know what their intentions are, you know why they want the gun, you have explained your views on the subject, but then, you give them a gun? What is the child thinking? They think you've changed your mind, that you want them to use the gun.

I am so bothered by this. I realize, that children may get caught up in sex. You want them protected, but just telling them you don't want them to have sex is not a good enough reason. It may work for an extra 6 months... But there has to be a purpose behind saving yourself for marriage.

The lady on the show was great in getting the kids to think about the actual situation. The best part is she asked them, how long do you plan on being together. The boy answered a long time. Oprah asked, well how long is that? His answer? 6 months to 1 year. The girl was shocked and totally deflated. I am a girl too. I know what her little heart was thinking. We'll be together, we'll share this, it will bring us closer. We will be high school sweethearts. We'll go to the same college, we'll be married at 21..... She began to change her mind by the end of the show.

I could go on, but I won't. It makes me so sad how we, as a society, sexualize children. They see the sexy images of women on magazine covers, it is in music, TV, movies and even cartoons. We are buying little girls sexy outfits, that even adults shouldn't wear. We are grooming them to watch soft porn music videos when they get older, by watching little Disney channel pop music videos. Don't believe me, watch a little child who watches these music videos dance, you'll see a lot different movement in the body. And, to make it worse, we have to tell our children about the dangers of predators, and sex so early that curiosities are being built up for years, long before they are ready, to understand the consequences of their actions.

I would love to hear what you think. That is if you read this whole big long blog.