Dumpy..

This image is the symbol of my life at the moment.

Not because I think I am trashy, no, this is the object I carry with me all over the house all day and night. I take it with me to the store (if I can make it). I take it to church. Actually those are the only places I have been in about 2 months. I carry really big purses to try and hide it, somewhat. It is usually accompanied with the dreaded saltine crackers. YUCK! I can only take one food for SO long!

I just need a moment of reflection, since this is as much of a journal as a blog, so here is my past 2 months in a nutshell.

I called my new doctor yesterday, to see if there is anything new she could recommend. And after I explained what I tried the nurse was like, there really isn't anything else. I have tried everything...

1. Phenegran (It made me sleep 18 hours a day, I couldn't keep my eyes open)

2. Candied Ginger - getting this down after a while almost made me throw up just on its own. Later on I tried to eat this with ginger snaps, to see if that would help, but not for long.

3. Peppermint oil on my feet and belly - technically I am still doing this, I don't know if it is helping

4. B-6 Vitamins - I am still taking these but am not noticing any real help but I am afraid to stop because what if they are helping, and I guess they probably aren't hurting.

5. Unisom - This in conjunction with the B-6, I take only half a pill, right before bed. My sisters-in-law ans sister told me about this. I think it helped for a week, I am not sure it is doing anything, so last night I decided not to take it to see what happens, so I guess I'll know in a day or two if it really was helping. I just don't like the idea of fooling with my won ability to sleep, which turned out to be awful last night!

6. Zofran - This is said to cause headaches, but seriously- I had a migraine for an entire afternoon and night ( I could hardly sleep) and it continued well into the next day. I could hardly see, or move, I would rather throw up.

7. Emetrol - this is an over the counter nausea thing. Didn't do anything.

Right now I am brewing some Ginger Herbal tea, as it might help, we'll see.

But the frustrating part. I am developing a fear of food. I am afraid to eat. I can't eat much anyway, besides all the things that sound disgusting. If I wasn't pregnant and ate this little I would have already lost 15 pounds. That is just it, I throw up more than half of what I eat everyday, and I still haven't lost a pound. I haven't gained a pound either... Urgh! I just wish I could go into the doctor and make sure the baby is all okay. I set up my appointment like 2 months ago and I still don't get to go in til the 30th.

I am totally listless. I hate T.V. I have reached my limit with books, for the moment. I think I am feeling that way cuz the truth is I haven't done anything blog worthy since like November. All these semi-glamorous meals or events we've blogged about were preceded and followed up by my dear porcelain friend, and I am starting to go CRAZY! (or like I admitted to my friend Dest, they are randoms that I did a month or two ago and never got around to blogging) I have never been anorexic and I have never wanted to be bulimic, and here I am with a mix of both. I hate eating food, and once I've eaten it, I throw it up.

But the good news... (hopefully) is that I should be just starting my 13th week so, I am hoping it ends soon, very soon, Very, very soon.

p.s. I am STILL very excited about being pregnant. I just have nothing else to blog about, this is all I have done for two months.